Nature feels freer just before the morning,

by shadow of darkness, by silver moon beam.

Photo by Casey Horner at Unsplash

Life is then heightened, more precious, more vibrant,

a whirled fuzzy achene caught up in the wind.

There is so much silence, such peaceful contentment,

I envy it, miser, earthbound human kin,

and wish I were song birds, a whipping of branches

a dew covered cattail, a wave in the stream.

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A mirror in time my life has become, the doors to my soul open wide.

What couldn’t I be, what couldn’t I find when boundaries fell to the side?

Could someone break in?

Could someone intrude?

They could, if they managed to find a way to withstand, a way to push through the waves of my soul flowing out.

Photo by Darius Bashar at Unsplash

It’s hard to protect, it’s hard to conceal the wind that is sweeping the field, the drop of perfume that fell in the sea, and mingled its essence with it.

I fit in the world as I always did, if that is a reference at all; they’re cut from its fabric, my strength and my wit, we share the same body and soul.

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I’m streaming a river of feelings and naught, a river that weaves through my thought.

From color and passion my movements are wrought, seduced by their hues and besought.

Image by Greg Racozy at Unsplash

On many souls’ wings I am carried along, a witness to both right and wrong.

I straddle the edge between life and beyond, not sure to which one I belong.

I live in continuous flux, in the berth of reality, watching its birth.

I’m here, then I’m not, then I’m back here, called forth, if ‘here’ is a place on this earth.

The soft ebb and flow that appearance assumes both comforts and gently entombs.

I’m safe in existence, this strange, endless room, like babies are safe in the womb.

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There are rare moments when I can feel the world’s beauty.

Not see it, but feel it with my whole being, in a way that is extraordinary, and beyond words, and whose every reverberation engenders bliss.

For a fleeting moment I get to peek through a very thick veil into the splendor of a hidden realm.

Photo by Annie Spratt at Unsplash

Sometimes I think my every breath is just biding time until I can feel that awesome beauty again, nothing more.

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I wade through the symbols of essence unseen, by light and by shadow departing a dream, all centered inside of the self shell of me.

The light pushes darkness away from my form — a backdrop, a contrast to all that is known.

Reminder that all that is known is not all.

Photo by Kamil Feczko at Unsplash

I’m here and beyond, in impossible bind to things that are real but not matter enough, in transit from here to the same here again.

Where I came from is lost in the mist of a dream. Where I’m going us mortals aren’t worthy to deem. We’re swallows in spring, building life like a nest.

It’s sadness and beauty to venture the thought of life as an endless and boundless event.

A loop from the light of an infinite sun.

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I don’t want your kindness.

I don’t need your patience.

I’m not looking for a role model.

Don’t give me a speech.

Photo by Dave Goudreau on Unsplash

I don’t care for transcendence.

I don’t need you to mend me.

I don’t have to be good enough for your friends.

I don’t want you to make time for me,

goals for me,

excuses for me.

I don’t need to be saved.

I don’t want to look up to you,

be proud of you,

or bask in your grace.

I want you to love me forever.

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I live in my heartbeat, in the taste of my coffee, in the lightheaded awe of looking up at trees, in the wind on my skin, surprisingly cool on a bright summer morning, startling goose bumps.

I live in my sleep, in my watching the sunrise, in getting soaked in the rain, in the soft grass caressing my feet, in the solitary song of a nightingale, in the dark before dawn, when it’s quiet.

Photo by Nicolas Moscarda at Unsplash

I live in my passion, in my boredom, in my waiting, in witnessing the passing of seasons.

While I have breath, I live, in every soft exhale, still warm out of my lungs.

In every precious moment, and every mundane task a thousand times repeated, I live.

What do I plan on doing with my life, you ask?

I plan to live.

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